Friday, September 26, 2008

A Tough Day at Home

This was a tough day. Specifically, it was a tough day being a mama to my kiddos.

I'm tired of the running, screaming, hitting, constant questioning, lying, grumbling, peeing accidents, crying, eyes rolling, bruises, dirty diapers, meals when no one is pleased, dishonoring speech, horsing around at naptime, pulling on my leg, breaking toys, slipping on toys, and playing the referee. And I really am tired of hearing the word NO.

So I fought. I prayed with the kiddos asking God to help me in my sin. I took a shower and used some of my sweet smelling bath treats.

Hear me loud and clear. I sinned greatly. In fact, the behavior I witnessed in them is what I see in myself. And I hate it so much when I see them following my lead. But follow me they do.

Kadin's eye rolling. Joshua's grumbling. Saraina's quick tongue.

But God IS at work. He is ALWAYS at work. I must choose to see and listen and obey. Even when I don't feel like it.

When I prayed with the kiddos this morning I remember saying something to the effect of, "Do you guys believe God will help Mommy?" I MUST believe He will help. So I recount His innumerable blessing and gifts and grace toward me and my loved ones.

Oh no. He never lets go! He never lets go of me. He never lets go of me through the calm and through the storm. Time to go put on that Matt Redman song, "He Never Lets Go." I need to remind myself of that amazingly wonderful truth!

What do you do to make it through those tough days?


Katie said...

Oh Kia...I can relate. What a great Savior we have despite our great sins!!!

What helps me the most on the tough days are things I'm sure you all ready know:

* Call my husband for help & prayer
* Call ladies in my CG for help & prayer

* Pump the Gospel-centered music

* This may be morbid, but it does help me keep an eternal perspective. I remind myself of the fact that I have no clue what tomorrow brings-I don't know how many hours God will give me with my children. This tends to really sober me into remembering that they are gifts and each moment with them is a gift. If one of them went to be with the Lord, I would gladly have back even the tough moments for another second with them.

I need God's help so much to show the joy, mercy, forgiveness, and peace that Christ lived with on this earth. You're not alone in the fight!

andrea_jennine said...

I'm sorry for your hard day. When circumstances seem impossibly difficult, I like to remind myself of the promise in 1 Cor. 10:13 - we don't have any temptations that God won't give us the grace to find a way to escape. And he doesn't mind when we cry out to him about how hard things seem!