Friday, May 30, 2008

Hubby-Wifey Questions and a Training Check-up

I wanted to share some good resources I found recently. The first is for married couples and the second for parents. We are very grateful for these tools!

First, I found some great questions to ask your spouse on some blog via an internet search. The first ten or so are from Family Life but the rest are from the author of the blog. Unfortunately, I do not remember the blog address to give you that link or to give them credit. William and I had a good time asking some of them during our little mini-retreat this past weekend and found them very helpful. We will more than likely refer to this list of questions in the future.

Good Questions to Ask Your Spouse

1. Name one thing I do that makes you feel loved.
2. What could I do to cause you to feel more loved?
3. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel respected/honored.
4. What could I do to cause you to feel more respected/honored?
5. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel understood.
6. What could I do to cause you to feel more understood?
7. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel secure.
8. What could I do to cause you to feel more secure?
9. Name one thing I do that causes you to feel confident in our future direction.
10. What could I do to cause you to feel more confident in our future direction?
11. Name one way I serve you that brings you great joy.
12. Are there specific ways that I can serve that I am not already doing?
13. What attribute would you most like me to develop?
14. Name one attribute (or mannerism or idiosyncrasy) that you most like me to change? 15. What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself?
16. What achievement in my life would bring you the greatest joy?
17. What mutual goal would you like us to accomplish?
18. How is our sex life?
19. Is there anything I can do to make our sex life better?
20. How are we doing with our family budgeting and finances?
21. What is one thing we can do to improve our budgeting and finances?
22. How does it feel when I… (Name something that you know displeases or discourages your spouse.)
23. What goes through your mind when I…(Name something that you know displeases or discourages your spouse. This can be the same as question 17 or something different.)
24. What specifically would you like to see me do to change…(Name something that you know displeases or discourages your spouse.)
25. How does it feel when I… (Name something that you know pleases or encourages your spouse.)
26. What goes through your mind when I… (Name something that you know pleases or encourages your spouse.)
27. Name one personal goal for your life that I can help you achieve this year.
28. Name something new we might do together that would bring joy to our marriage/family? (Hopefully this is different from question 17).
29. How are our relationships with our extended family (parents, siblings, etc.)?
30. Name one thing I can do to improve one of these family relationships.
31. Name one way that God has blessed our marriage.
32. Name one way that we could make our marriage more Christ-like.
33. Name one sin that you continue to struggle with.
34. What could I do to help you with this struggle?
35. Name one sin you see that I continue to struggle with.
36. What would you encourage me to do to deal with struggle?
37. Is there some way that you can help me with this struggle?
38. What would indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christ-like?
39. How has your love for God grown?
40. How is your devotional time going? (Specifically Scripture study & prayer)
41. Is there another spiritual discipline that you would like to develop? (fasting, scripture memorization, etc.)
42. What can I do to help your love for God grow?
43. Name one thing about our church that brings you great joy.
44. Name one thing that would increase your joy in church?
45. In ten years where do you hope to be spiritually?
46. In ten years where do you think I should be spiritually?
47. Name one way that my leadership/submission has strengthened our marriage.
48. What could I do to lead/submit better in our marriage?
49. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our marriage?
50. What would make our marriage a ten?

The second resource is from a lady in our church named Lynne. (Lynne, if you happen to read this, thanks for sharing this!) If you go to our church and attended the last Homeschool Meeting you are familiar with this tool she shared. It's called a Training Check-up and the youngest child she used it on was four years old. We've gone through it for all of ours though none of them are four yet and I've found it very helpful to see what it is we, as a couple, are working towards with each child. It allows you to see each child individually and to focus on what that child needs, where that child is gifted, where they are experiencing growth, and helps me see where God might be calling me to help them. I believe she and her hubby revisit this WITH their kids every 6 months or so.

Note: this is a useful tool regardless of what type of schooling you are doing (public, private, homeschool)!

Anyway, the Training Check-up consists of asking yourself (and your child, if age-appropriate) to list Accomplishments, what they are Still Working On, and what New Skills need to be added for six areas:

1. Life Skills
2. Physical Growth
3. Service
4. Spiritual
5. Character
6. Academic.

(Please email me if you'd like me to send you our Word doc.)

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