My QTs have been... what's the word to describe them? Flat? I don't like to say, "I had a good quiet time" or "I had a bad quiet time." I'm already self-focused enough and that doesn't help me turn my gaze to the Lord.
Despite my perceived "flat" quiet time I know God is at work in me and I know that I am desperate for Him. Or at least my head knows that.
Enter the problem. My vision.
When I begin to believe the lie that I'm not so bad, that I'm not the wicked, sin-riddled, arrogant, selfish Nakia that I know I am, my vision gets all wacked out and my soul is far from satisfied.
So this morning I asked the Lord to correct my vision. I desperately needed to see accurately who Christ is, who I was before He saved me, and who I am in Christ. In essence I needed to see the Gospel. I needed to be broken.
I read this from Philip Yancey's book What's So Amazing About Grace? and found it very helpful to begin to correct my vision:
The scene from John 8 rattles me because by nature I identify more with the accusers than the accused. I deny far more than I confess. Cloaking my sin under a robe of respectability, I seldom if ever let myself get caught in a blatant, public indiscretion. Yet if I understand this story correctly, the sinful woman is the nearest the kingdom of God. Indeed, I can only advance in the kingdom if I become like that woman: trembling, humbled, without excuse, my palms open to receive God's grace.
So, that's where I am. Asking the Lord to help me keep the stinch of MY sin ever present lest I forget all His benefits. Feel free to pray for me if the Lord brings this to your remembrance!