Friday, July 27, 2007

Our Weird-o Parents

We think our Mama is PARANOID. Daddy just thinks she's crazy. Here's why:

1. She takes pictures of cars that park in our driveway. Did you know she always wanted to be the first black Charlie's Angel? Yeah, she fancys herself a McGyver type woman and always wanted to "kick a window out of a school bus." How many of you had to reread that one!

2. She chases neighborhood kids who throw trash in our grass, makes them pick it up, tells them "I'm Mrs. Whitney," and then smiles as she asks if they want her to throw the trash away. I think we're scarred for good because the kids now look at us with a smile when they see us outside.

3. She almost took a picture of a drunk driver who drove past our house FOUR times. She didn't have her camera with her but she sure did give them a good stare down. Daddy did call 5.0 though. That made for an interesting night!

4. And this morning Joshua peed in his pants and as she was dealing with that some strange white dude with light-colored hair in a black Titan V8 truck pulled in front of our house across the street. She stopped to watch him because she thought he was looking rather "strangely" at our house. Next thing she knows, he whipping out a camera and snaps a few shots. Who knows what she would've done had she not had to put a kid on the potty and wipe up some pee pees on the floor! She's capable of anything. Those of you who know the Akichi story know what I'm talking about!

Now for our Daddy!

1. He eats like three donuts and then says doing so pulled his groin. How are eating too many donuts related to pulling your groin????

2. Daddy likes to push the limit a bit too much. The other day he was mowing the grass and thought to himself, "I can get even closer to that water line!" Next thing you know, there's a loud noise and then Daddy shuffles into the garage to try and hammer the mower blade back into shape. It doesn't work! And it's doubtful he learned any lesson.

3. Just a short while ago Daddy has the great idea to call a friend who will be turning 27 on Monday (yo, Mr. M! Happy Bday!) and leave 27 messages. Yep. He says, "Wouldn't that be cool?" Uhhhh, NO, Psycho-pops!

4. And most of you out there know that Papa almost killed himself a few times. Sometimes he uses fire and gas (ask Grandad and Grammy about the one!) and other times he just decides to apply to become a police officer and thereby almost die of an exercise-induced asthma attack.

Talk about a match made in Heaven. Our parents are ridiculously idiotic. You wouldn't beleive how many times we hear Mommy say, "Oh no, I cut myself!" or Daddy say, "Ummm, Wifey, you that ____, I broke it." Don't they ever learn!! And what does that mean for us kiddos?

Wait a minute! Isn't it true that once a person gives their life to the Lord they are ADOPTED? There's hope yet for us Whitney kiddos to NOT be conformed to their image after all! Lord, make us like You!!!! Our folks truly are as dumb as sheep! But we love them regardless.

Peace out, peeps!

sarania, for the whitneykiddos


Jerusha said...

Those who love your dear parent in Maryland just call them "interesting." We miss you all out here.

Jenny said...

How many times should we be calling Aurora on August 9?