Friday, July 20, 2007

The Breaking Point

What do you consider your breaking point?

Well, today was one of those days I woke up struggling, wondering why, and raging inside. It seemed like I reached my breaking point.

My reality was too overwhelming for me this morning. Thoughts like, 'Joshua will never be potty trained', 'how long will Kadin be sick', 'I have to put away the laundry', 'I forgot eggs and frozen vegetables at the grocery store yesterday', will I have time to do my hair today', 'my body aches', 'how could I possibly want more kids', and 'how should I cook the pork chops' seemed to rush in my mind at once. I was not seeing God's goodness. And His sovereignty was pushed to the back of my mind as I focused on ME. I was seeing all that was before me as things I needed to accomplish or get through, not things God would grant me the grace to do and experience. I forgot all about grace. And I didn't think much about Him being in control.

Psalm 121 says,
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

(Thanks, Sue, for reminding me of this psalm!)

So, I resolve to run into HIS arms and remember HE DIED for me.
He loves me so much that all (the tough stuff included!) He allows is for my good, not harm!
Yes, He is a God who holds ALL THINGS TOGETHER, including me.

I guess I did reach the breaking point. I finally realized in my "moment of madness" that I am sinful through and through BUT... He knows my frame, He knows my needs, He called me by name, and He allows the things that happen to me for HIS great glory and my good.


judi said...

Thanks Kia for your humility! I sure do miss our times together. I could ditto your thoughts from this morning, I too have been struggling and forgetting all the blessings that God grants us each day. Thanks for the encouragement!

Jerusha said...

Great Post Kia, thanks for your humility. Miss you much friend. In reality I guess we should want to live in the breaking point because when we are weak then HE is strong.