I don't know about you other mothers out there but it is still strange being called Mom and VERY strange having people wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Will I ever get used it?
My Mother's Day was very special. But it didn't start out that way. My "wanter" was on full capacity. ("Wanter" is a term my old, old senior pastor Joshua Harris at Covenant Life used to teach his kids how to guard their hearts as they went to the mall and would inevitably "want" stuff.) Why is that bad? Doesn't God WANT me to have stuff and be happy? Well, it's a little more complicated than that.
My desires were sinful as I placed my hope, longings, and happiness in those things which can NEVER satisfy. God's desire is for me to WANT Him above EVERYTHING!
So, this morning I rose with my wanter beeping loudly.
I WANT a day off.
I WANT my back pain to be gone.
I WANT all of my kids to sleep through the night.
I WANT my body to be somewhat "normal." (whatever that is!)
I WANT someone else to do the work that is in front of me.
Clearly, I have some strong fears lying in front of me this day. Hby had a change at work so although he's sleeping at home, he has to be in the Hammond, IN office by 8:15 AM. He's leaving today around 6:30AM. SOOOOO I'm with the kiddos all day, we've got to get out before Kadin has to wear Saraina's diapers because we're that low in size 2. That one big feat brings on much fear for me. Choosing the best time to go inevitably means it's not good for 1 of the 3. Who will be my screamer today?
Aside from that fear, cleaning this place up while doing our normal things is a big temptation for me to not trust God. Someone's scheduled to check out the house we're renting so that means I've gotta have a plan. They're coming b/w 6 and 7 PM and our usual dinnertime mess would deter any potential buyers. What will be my priority?
But, thanks be to God for His Word! Psalm 118 spoke to me this morning. Phrases like,
(verse 5) "out of my distress I called on the LORD"
(verse 6) "The LORD is on my side; I will not fear"
(verse 7) "The LORD is on my side as a helper"
(verse 17) "I shall not die, but live and recount the deeds of the LORD"
(verse 18) "The LORD has disciplined me severely but he has not given me over to death."
(verse 24) "This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
(verse 28) "You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you."
Yes, LORD God, I will give thanks to You because you are my God! Although I am weak, prone to fear, You will not abandon me this day or the days to come. Be my help. I see that I cannot do it apart from You and Your grace. Strengthen this weak vessel.